So urm... am I the only one who's not like OMG I LOVE THE NEW PANIC DEMO THEY ARE SO MUCH BETTER OFF WITHOUT RYHO.
Now I know you think I'm biased because I love Ryan (although I'm the first to admit he's being a twat), but I genuinely am not that thrilled about the demo... It sounds... boring. 
Idk. Hopefully it will grow on me. *sigh*

I've been moping around because I'm alone and I have nothing to do. And then I had this moment of amazing realisation, this is fantastic! This is the best thing ever! I have absolutely nothing I have to do and nobody to answer to. I'm alone in a city I love with tonnes of free time to do whatever takes my fancy!
This is perfect.
I went out and bought a frappuccino while I did some people watching, then I bought a sketchbook and sketching pencils :) 
Although I've just realised I don't have a rubber *headdesk*

Kings Of Leon are one of the best bands I've ever seen live. Easily.
They were immense, Caleb's voice is just perfection. 
We started off all together about... hmmm 25 people from the front maybe. It was a good place, we could see the stage well. But when California Waiting kicked in everyone went mental jumping up and down and I got moved forwards. I could see my family behind me and planned to head back to them once it calmed down a bit. Only it didnt calm down and I couldnt see them anymore. By the time they got into Sex On Fire that was it, I wasn't going back and ended up about 5 people from the front. It was just mindblowing. They were filming it for a DVD too so you might be able to spot me being a maniac xD

Back in Cardiff now, my flatmates gone home so I'm just chilling on my own. Quite enjoying the break really, for the past week Ive just been exhausted. I've had one problem after the other be it headache or kidney pain or sore throat or earache and I'm just so fed up. I would like to be healthy and energised for a while. I've spent the day relaxing thinking it would sort me out. 
Right now though I feel awful. But I'm going to carry on sipping my wine and hope for the best. 

I would quite like some company. But only very specific company... LOL I need to know what this song is called because the lyrics were SO perfect then... An Eluardian Instance by Of Montreal. LOL that was bizarre. 

Aaaanyway. Yeah I started work this weekend and it was ok. I feel like I got on alright although Im not very good at this kind of thing, Im hardly the most confident of people and I get nervous about stuff. Although I feel like everything is a lot simpler than it was at Samuels. The computer system is brilliant and I've pretty much mastered it already. I'll probably go back this weekend now and find I've forgotten everything... lol 
But yay for money, I'm looking forward to getting paid. 

Mmmm I may have to have an early night. I am very sleepy.

OH heres another thing... My mother now has facebook... there goes my privacy. Fuck that. I didnt mind my dad having it because he just laughs at my antics. But my mother will be all judgemental and shit.
Never mind, Im off to figure out if the dishwasher is finished.

Today is a sad day. And just to be different to everyone else I'm gunna go ahead and say I am suprised. I thought they would get through at least one more album.



I am going to miss Panic at the Disco, I know theyre going to keep going but it just won't be the same, particularly without Ryan. Say what you will but I love that boy. 
*sighs*

I really am a terrible poster. It's been ages. I'm sorry.
I've been at home in London for a week now. Thursday I went to Wimbledon with Liiiina  (onsafety ) and had a really really good day. I will hopefully get round to uploading the photos tomorrow. I got up at 4.30am to get in the queue for 7am, we queued for hours but it was worth it. Spent some quality time stalking the players at the practice courts, discovered a love for angry frenchmen, drank overpriced pimms and risked our lives on henman hill being anti-murray and then watched an epic match on court 1. More details will follow with the photos tomorrow. But overall was a fantastic day.
Other than that being at home has pretty much sucked. None of my friends here seem all that bothered about meeting up to catch up which tbh just really sucks. Some arent around which is fair enough but those who are know Im only home for two weeks and they cant be bothered to make plans despite my efforts, all Im asking for is a chat over starbucks or a few hours in the pub. That paired with the fact I'm really really missing uni people is making me feel more lonely than usual which really sucks. I dont know why I have this amazing paranoia about being alone.
I'm seeing Kings Of Leon tomorrow night so I'm clinging to that to cheer me up. Hopefully they'll live up to my expectations.
Also I cannot believe how hot it is right now. I hate it, I'm so uncomfortable all the time. Ergh.

Fucking hell. What the fuck am I doing? Why am I doing this to myself?

AHHH IM A BAD PERSON.
I have been meaning to update since like... 894348238974 days ago. Ok... slight exaggeration but I've been meaning to update for quite some time soooo I have a fair amount of stuff to get through. 

My first year at uni is over! That's it, I am no longer a fresher. It's pretty weird tbh. It's gone so insanely fast, I remember moving in to halls, being so scared, going out for the first time, meeting so many people. Weird. I have changed so much in 9 months, I've grown up a lot, my perspective on life has changed, I'm more confident, more happy, more complete. 
Moving out of halls was so sad, watching people leave one by one. When you live somewhere like that, it's very bizarre, the people around you become like your family, you see them everyday, you eat together and drink together and generally hang out. And then suddenly they're gone. You realise that the room you called yours, isn't really yours, because soon enough somebody else will be there and then somebody after that and the cycle continues. And it's depressing, it really is. I have met some incredible people at halls who are largely responsible for the amount of growing I've done. The thought I'm not  going to be seeing them all the time anymore is so strange. I'm a little scared that I won't really see some of them at all, but I don't think that'll happen. 
The actual moving was SO stressful it was insane. We happen to be living on the same street as the Millenium Stadium:

 (incase you don't know what that is :D)

And on friday, Oasis happened to be playing at the Millenium Stadium which meant our road was closed and full of drunk, loud Oasis fans. Which made moving in very very difficult. But never mind, we made it in the end. 
The flat is gorgeous. Living here is going to be fantastic, we're in an amazing location and the flat is so nice and just perfect for us. We've settled in really well, still have a few things to sort out but it's generally starting to feel like home :) 
I can't wait to have guests over, I want to show off my new home! Its going to be amazing having people round for dinner and drinks and stuff. One massive benefit is that I have a double bed for the first time in my life. I can't get used to having so much space, I always think I'm about to fall out the bed and then I realise I have tonnes of room xD It's fantastic. Also having a bath is a massive luxury after living at halls. And having sofas to lay on rather than being in my bedroom all the time. It's just great. 
Ok so I'm going to end this post now and I'll update on more drama later... :D 

My friend Joe just asked me a question and I wanted to ask you my dear friends list.

Do you ever worry you're never going to meet the right person?

It's something that is one of my biggest fears. I am so completely terrified of being alone. I don't want to grow old without someone there beside me. It's all the little things I crave so desperately, someone to wake up next to, someone to go to sleep with, someones hand to hold, someone to cuddle when you're feeling a bit sad, someone to watch crappy films with. Whether you meet "the one" is something so completely out of your control that there is nothing you can do. I don't know, I just wanted to throw it out there and see what you guys think.

New Modest Mouse songs! Omgosh awesome :D

Hey flist. Does anyone have Tumblr?
I'm sort of addicted. 
Comment me a link and I'll follow you.

http://lovesexandlies.tumblr.com/

It's 3am. I'm drunk and alone and I fucking hate myself.

I've been in bed all day with the most horrendous headache. Not good. I have one more exam to do which can't be revised for which means no more work until september =D yay! Went out last night to celebrate and somehow got really drunk even though I only had a few. Very strange. Had a good night although men are such creeps. I yelled at so many guys for being leery pervs. My friend has been screwed around by this girl he's been seeing on and off for months now and it's starting to get ridiculous. I hate seeing him get hurt over and over and there's nothing I can do but try and be there to support him when she inevitably lets him down. Sometimes I think my life would be a lot better if I didn't always feel as though it was my responsibility to fix everybody's problems. I always want to make everything right, I always think I have to intervene and fix stuff. 
We found a flat for next year. Well I say for next year... we move in next month. It is an amazing flat, opposite the millenium stadium and next door to a massive wetherspoons pub. It is a fantastic location and it is just perfect. Thing is I'm going to struggle to pay the rent over the summer if I cant get a job. I gunna have to look in cardiff and london and wherever I can find work I'm going to live. It's going to be stressful but worth it for the dream flat I think. Although I haven't had much luck with money recently. My account got frauded and I lost £500 which is not good. Although I am getting all the money back, it's just annoying and so unfair. People are so shit. 
I really need to get some sleep. Hopefully I'll be feeling better tomorrow because I need to get up and go food shopping or I will starve. That will not be good. 

I know I know... two posts in such a short period. ITS EXCITING.
But here's the thing. I cannot make a cup of tea without spilling it. I mean it's physically impossible. EVERY time. And usually on my feet if I'm not wearing shoes. When I move out of halls I'm going to have to wipe the tea stains off the walls, my desk, the window sill, the radiator... AHH. This is why I can never become a waitress. EVER.

LOOK MEDIA, FOR ONCE WILL YOU JUST BE NICE!??!?
I'm sure theres a simple explanation for Gasquets positive drug tests... I can't believe that he's secretly some hardcore addict. 

Oh I have an exam in just under 10 hours. I haven't revised at all, I have a blinding headache and I don't care. 
I will when I can't drag myself out of bed in the morning... ERGH fml. (lol I've been waiting for an excuse to use the cool new acronym...) 

Truth be told, I'm a mess right now. I'm so insanely lonely, I just want to cry all the time. I can't have what I want and, without sounding like a spoilt rich kid, it's just not fair.
Exams have started which just makes things so much better. My days are filled with procrastination in the form of watching CSI, The Mentalist and Scrubs. Mostly Scrubs because I am in love with Dr Cox. Seriously.



Tomorrow we're going to look at a flat for next year, and I know it's going to be gorgeous and I'm afraid I can't afford it. I wish I wasn't so hesitant about everything. I wish I was one of those people who could just throw themselves into what they want and say "lets do it and see how it goes". I wish I could take my own advice once in a while.

The thing about facebook is it's creepy as fuck. EVERYONE knows EVERYTHING you put on there if you're absent minded and dont think about changing your privacy settings which, let's face it, most people are. I LOVE it when somebody ends their relationship and it comes up in the little highlights box. Like "HEY THIS PERSON IS SINGLE!!!" Like that's really what they need... charming. Whats just as bad is when two friends are facebook "married" and then one of them gets a real relationship and breaks up the marriage to become attached to their actual partner. A fantastic reminder to the other that they are STILL SINGLE. YAY FOR THEM! Especially considering people generally facebook "marry" their friends because they're fed up of appearing as single. Shame.

Then there are the people who milk it for all its worth. If your status is OMG I HATE HIM, I CANT BELIEVE HE DID THIS TO ME, I'M SO HURT. I am not going to ask what's wrong so you can reply with "Oh nothing... rather not say here." THAT IS CALLED ATTENTION SEEKING. Fuck off. If you don't want your problems publicly discussed, don't post them on facebook, it really isn't all that difficult. Unless... oh wait.... that's right, you like the attention, you like people, who normally wouldn't speak to you, all of a sudden showing interest in your life. They aren't your friends dear, they're nosy, bitches who want to discuss your problems with their friends down the pub for a giggle.

The latest bug on facebook that ANNOYS THE CRAP out of me, is the fansites. Why is it that all of a sudden everyone feels the need to "become a fan" of every single thing they have ever come into contact with in their lives? "SUNSHINE" "LAUGHTER" "I LOVE MY FRIENDS" "GRASS" "MASSAGES" "BISCUITS"... seriously? FUCK OFF. Yes I may like these things but I do not need to press a button on facebook for this to be certified. IM SURE YOU CAN WORK OUT THAT I LIKE THESE THINGS. MOST PEOPLE DO. If there is something you REALLY REALLY love, and its a key part of who you are, say you are known as the biscuit girl, by all means go ahead and be a fan. But you eat a biscuit from time to time? THIS DOESNT WARRANT YOU A FAN. 

Then there is LivingSocial... yes I am guilty of abuse of this to pass the time... but it doesnt mean I resent it coming into existance. No I do not care who you would choose to have on your side in a bar fight. No I do not want to know what items you never leave the house without, in fact I can guess, its probably your phone, your keys, your purse/wallet, some form of ipod, if you're female, some form of lipbalm/make-up. Oh hey... YOU'RE SO PREDICTABLE. Oh and while we're on the subject, I also do not appreciate your stupid ironic responses... Its fairly obvious that you don't take your pet tiger or a chainsaw or anyother obscure items out with you everytime you leave the house and YOU ARE NOT FUNNY. 

So you're asking why I'm still on facebook? Because I like to laugh at all these goings on. And hey, if you ignore the shit, there is actually some uses to it.... I think.... I just want to be able to chat to my friends without knowing who's having their heartbroken and who "likes" fishfingers. Is that really too much to ask. The owners of facebook need a good kicking. Seriously. 


/rant

So, I've been inspired by askheychris 's post on his mancrushes to make my own post of girlcrushes.
Now I've narrowed it down to five which was difficult but fun :D
So here goes.... my top 5 girlcrushes... 6 girlcrushes I remembered one I just had to add in... haha.

( Under here... )

It's really fucking cold in Cardiff right now. Or maybe it's just me.
I've wasted the whole weekend watching tv and playing pokemon and sleeping when I should really be revising... Ooops. It's not good. I'm shit at motivating myself to work.
Good news is, I'm really pretty happy right now so yay :D
I really do love men. However much they screw with my head, they're awesome *sighs*

I've been back at uni for almost a week now. I can't believe how much stuff has happened in a week. So many goodtimes! A few bad too. Generally very eventful though :D Definately good to be back, home was driving me crazy.
Feeling kinda rough today. I think the alcohol is taking its toll. Havent quite readjusted yet. 
I officially don't understand men. Like seriously. I don't get anything.
Even worse though, I dont understand my own feelings. I'm finding myself having feelings for people I shouldn't and not for the people I should =S
If anyone figures out how this shit works then please let me know.