So today was the day we've been waiting for since the panic split. After listening to the songs released by the two halves of the former band I have come to some conclusions.

Firstly I am not taking sides in this whole drama, I'm purely basing this on my opinions of the music.
I really really wanted to like the new Panic! song. But when I listened to New Perspective I have to say I was a little disappointed. However much I love Bden's voice and lets face it he sounds better than ever... I just dont get it. I feel like they're aiming their music at someone other than me. When they started out AFYCSO was perfect for me at that time in my life as a teenager it spoke to me, it was fun, it was exciting, and then we grew up a bit and P.O. came out and that meant something to me once again because I had grown up a bit and my taste in music had changed and I loved it. And now... I dunno this just seems like a total regression and it doesn't speak to me at all. I'm not saying I hate it. Just that it's not my thing. And I am genuinely disappointed. Maybe it'll grow on me, maybe when I have a complete album in my hands I will change my mind, but right now it's just not doing it for me.
Then I listened to Change by the newly christened The Young Veins and I felt such excitement. It's no secret how I feel about Ryan Ross, I have been a fan from the start, I love the way he writes, the way he seems to think, his style, his passion... everything. And it all comes across in the new song and I adore it. Sure his voice isn't the greatest, but it doesn't matter. I couldn't be more excited about this new band, this new chapter in his story. This is the progression I was hoping for. I need a band that keeps changing and growing and moving forward... not one that goes back to the same old thing. Yes Ryan may be a fuck up and he may be a bit of a twat but this isn't about that, this is about two songs, one of which I adore and one which doesn't make me feel anything at all. Ryan's talent is just plainly obvious to me and for that I will continue to support him :)

This will probably be the last time I use my panic icon. I'll be sad to see things end. It's all so final now. I feel pretty excited about where things are going though.

My family did turn up last week after all the drama. So we spent the week driving round the coast and visiting a few places. Wales has some truely stunning beaches. Tuesday we went to Rhossili and went down onto the beach at sunset and it was just stunning. I paddled in the sea and ran across the sand. My digital camera is still broken and my phone battery was low but I took photos on a disposable camera. I can't wait to see what they came out like, I doubt they'll do it justice to be honest. I felt so peaceful and calm that evening, it was one of those rare moments where everything just seems right. So yeah... was a good week, tiring though, after living alone being with the family is always strange and tiring. It was weird having my mum come into my home and tell me what to do. I felt like I was a little kid again.
We also bought my fish tank and now i have 3 baby fishes called Roland, Mardy and Roscoe. I love having fish, they are beautiful but I'm a little concerned that Mardy seems to be overly dominant and hes constantly chasing the other two, particularly Roland. I'm keeping an eye, I dont want him to get too aggressive or I'll have to seperate them.
I have an immense urge to spend money and I really cant afford to. Working in a jewellers makes me want to buy nice jewellery, but not from work, I would rather look for more interesting vintage pieces. I can't wait to get paid. I'm gunna treat myself.

He walked in and her world stopped spinning. It just sort of ground to a halt, the way the music stops in a film when the characters get a shock, the way a rabbit freezes in the glare of the car headlights. He took everything that made her happy and made it seem miniscule in comparison to his warmth. He had her hooked from the word go. And she watched her world slide out of her control, he had all the cards, everything she wanted, everything she longed for, everything she dreamed of, depended on him. Some might call her weak, foolish even for letting him own her. But she couldn't help it. She tried to grab the wheel, to steer her wreck-bound heart back on course. But she kept spotting him in her mirrors and turning back, turning off, taking the wrong route.
It's only a matter of time before she takes her feet of the pedals and lets herself fly head-on into the unknown. If she's lucky she might find herself pulling into the carpark of a dream palace where she will find everything she could ever want. But chances are she'll find herself plummeting off a cliff, free-falling for miles until she finally hits the ground.